Tuesday, March 13, 2012

U.S. Marines' New Microchip Technology Allows Terrorists to talk with God!

Breaking News: Amazing new microchip implant allows Islamic Terrorists to Speak to God.

This incredible breakthrough was created by those clever folks at the U.S. Marines to specifically ease tensions between Islamic Terrorists and the rest of the world.

How does it work? Well, the implant is specifically designed to be injected into the forehead of any terrorist and, when properly installed, it will allow the terrorist to immediately speak directly to God.

How cool is that?

And that's not all! This unique device comes in an amazing variety of designers bullets, er um, microchips as well (Generally ranging  from .223 to ..50 cal.). No one size fits all here!

10 Convenient sizes to choose from

Recent field testing has shown no less that a 100% success rate when properly administered.

However, just like all new technological breakthroughs there may be some side effects so I would be remiss if I didn't give the legal disclaimer:


  • The exact size of the implant must be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection.
  • No anesthetic is required!
  • The implant may or may not be painless.
  • Side effects may include headaches, nausea, aches and pains but are extremely rare and temporary and only were noticed in a few cases.
  • Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, the terrorist won't even notice it.
  • Please enjoy the security we provide for you.
Best regards,

The United States Marine Corps

God Bless The US Marines
Ed. note: This is a gussied up version of an anonymous email I received.

2 comments:

  1. I got to hand it to you, this is a great idea

    ReplyDelete

I will leave it up to those leaving comments to moderate themselves. Keep in mind that this site is PG and comments should reflect this.