Thursday, February 16, 2012

Windmills, Solar Panels and Flying Horses

As I try to understand the wisdom of the absolute fanatical attempt by liberals to make America solely a renewable energy country, it has occurred to me that I am approaching the problem from the wrong point of view. You see, I foolishly thought that these people had a coherent argument and were capable of an earnest debate. Turns out I was wrong; they just suffer from arrested development.

So to understand their ardent wish for Condor killing wind turbines dotting the landscape and costly magic solar panels that would run everything in your house for a year with just one sunny day, I had to go way back to my own childhood to fully appreciate their affliction. When I was 4, I wanted a flying horse. I didn't just want a flying horse, I wanted one so badly that every night I would lay there in the dark just wishing as hard as I could, eyes clenched, fists balled repeating over and over, "Please God, give me a flying horse and I'll never ever ever ask for anything ever again." Of course I never got a flying horse and at the time I blamed god. But as I got older, say around six weeks later, I realized that the reason I didn't get a flying horse was BECAUSE THEY DON'T FREAKING EXIST. So from that point on I set my sights a little lower and just wished for a flying car (Soon baby soon!).

Now that I've relived my childhood fantasies I am now equipped to understand the mind of the renewable energy nutcase's movement. You see these folks have never matured beyond the age of 4. So have pity on them and give them a and a lollypop and a toy windmill.

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