Electric Vehicles Done the Right Way

It is my belief that there is a misconception out there that conservatives do not like alternative fueled vehicles. Liberals have with some degree of success turned the argument around on conservatives. Specifically, when conservatives oppose flushing hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayer's money down the pixie dust hole on Solydra and the Chevy Volt the liberals claim that the conservatives are just in the pocket of BIG OIL. When conservatives point out that the so called innovations the taxpayer's are forced to support are nothing more than pipe dreams the liberals take the high ground and scream at the top of their lungs "Innovation comes from Government intervention!" I will not go into the fact that other than the Manhattan Project rarely does actual breakthrough come from government intervention. Once again, the elite underestimate the ingenuity of the common man. As exhibit A I give you the Boxx Electric Bike.

I know what you are saying: Hey the Chevy Volt can carry 4 passengers and man is that thing ugly. All true, I say, but this little beauty has more going for it than you might think. It can go 35 MPH, runs for 85 miles on a single charge and it has the added bonus of not blowing up! Further, it costs less than $4,000 and is not subsidized by the taxpayers. This engineering marvel comes in 10 colors and here are just a few other features:

• Aerodynamic Design. 3X lower drag coefficient than average
  
• Lighting = Oversized all LED dot lighting system with hazards
  
• Onboard Storage = Two cargo bays. Room for two bags. Secured
  
• Mechanical footpeg emergency brake
  
• Fluids Free Vehicle
  
• 58 front / 42 rear vehicle weight distribution
  
• Performance: 2 to 1 power to weight ratio
  

Wait that's not all!

• Integrated kickstand
  
• Front and rear carry handles
  
• Oversized handle bar grips
  
• Indoor / outdoor storage
  
• External multicolor vehicle status indicator
  
• Glove, pocket item bin
  
• Front / Rear coiled suspension
  
• All aluminum construction
  
• 40 degree surface grade capable
  
• Road capable performance
  
• Superior comfort ergonomics
  
• Audio Alerts
  
• 90 days labor, 1 year parts warranty
  
• Upgradable 3 year full coverage warranty
  
• Optional Heated Seat (Cold Weather Package)
  

And not one single dollar of taxpayer money!!!!

Man all I need now is a black leather jacket that says "Heck's Angels" on the back and I'm done baby!